Graduation Bonding Brought About By God's Gift of Music

The past 18 years have flown by for me and my little girl - Susan. When she was just 3 months old, it was one of the happiest times of my life. Just days later, it soon became one of the most sad and difficult times when we were torn apart by divorce. At the time, in the late 80's, it was a rare occurrence. And as one would expect, one of us left God and his word behind as well. I was bewildered thinking, "This is not supposed to happen to me. I gave my life to Jesus and his will!"

I took comfort from an obscure prophetic passage in Genesis 21 about Abraham's estrangement from Ishmael.

But God said to him, "Do not be so distressed about the boy and your maidservant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. I will make the son of the maidservant into a nation also, because he is your offspring. Genesis 21:11-13

The following months and years became a way to "face trials of many kinds" - in other words, "pure joy." It seemed whenever I tried a new idea to spend time opening up my heart to my little girl, or to get her to learn to open up, the nature of our estrangement would naturally dampen the progress.

I was never able to arrange a visit around a church service time - even when I was preaching, sharing or performing some of my original music. When we began involving Susan in family devos to teach her the Bible and to make her a part of encouragement and openness among family members, the phone would ring with a request to cease such activity.

And so it went. Three short visits a week for 13 or 14 years. We never had an overnighter until she was in High School. Never tucked her into bed or read her a goodnight story, or said a "night-night prayer".

But through the years, as my daughter developed her own perspectives and interests, she took a liking to music. First recorder, then piano, then cello, and finally string bass. My degree is in Music Theory, so I was able to help all along the way. When Susan was asked to play bass, she took right to it and "lit up" musically.

This was very similar to my path in music - which almost ended when my parents were told by a straight-laced piano teacher that I was never going to advance in music and they should stop wasting their money paying for lessons. When I switched to bass in 6th grade, the musical light bulb went on in my head! Later, I joined the musician's union in High School and payed my way to college on the String Bass - scholarships, gigs and awards - including 3 summers at Tanglewood.

I am so grateful to God that music has become a tremendous bonding agent between my daughter and me over the years. We have spent many hours playing duets, talking about music theory, and discussing phrasing, bowing and technique that we truly have become great friends and fellow musicians. I can even bring up biblical references now as well, and share God's glory and design in music! The link below is a short clip of her conducting the High School Symphony in "The Meistersingers Overture."

Click here:

Her school choir also performed my arrangement of Psalm 47 at an Easter service last year at their school denomination. Below is a clip of that. My daughter was a big part in having this performed.

Susan turned 18 this year and graduated from high school. She was the Class of 2007 Salutatorian. My wife, mother, kids and I were able to enjoy a wonderful time at her graduation festivities. To close out, I want to share a clip of the two us playing bass together at her High School at the opening of graduation week. Many of my musical brothers and sisters serving in music ministries around the kingdom know how excited I was to be able to perform with my daughter. I was the honorary Assistant Principal Bassist behind my daughter. This performance was during the very weekend of the International Song Leader's Conference in Washington, DC- which I had to miss this year! But I think everyone understands why. Click here: http://76.163.183.99/bassists/

God is faithful. I cannot tell you all the stories and anecdotes about all that has happened. If you are in a similar situation as a single dad or single mom now, take heart and wait for the Lord. never blame God. Time and chance happen to all as we walk in this imperfect world. Persevere under trial. Enjoy each day. Stay close to you spiritual friends in Christ. The Lord will show himself faithful in the end.

More Musical Home Video...

Here is a video of my daughter being caught on camera in her high school library singing an original tune she wrote about a beloved professor at the school... She's playing on a guitar with only 5 strings... Truly, something her dad would do!

Gratefully,

Jerry Maday

Worcester County Church of Christ

PS - Before I published this article, I let my daughter see it and offered her the option to veto it going public at Disciples Today. As she approved it, she told me that she wrote an essay for a music scholarship application, which she won, and it was on the same topic as this article - "Why Music is Important to me - It helped me be closer to my dad" ! Pray for her as she begins her secondary education near Cleveland, Ohio at Oberlin College. She will study Music and Environmental Journalism there.