Psalm 5:11-12 says, “But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
God is perfect and I knew that I could completely trust that He knew what was best for me. However, when it came to trusting that God would protect me and my children even through my husband’s battle with sexual sin, I had a very hard time trusting and surrendering to God’s will and most often I responded out of fear in my prideful and controlling ways.
When I started focusing on my own sin rather than my husband’s sin, things started to change. God blessed my small acts of submission to Him and my repentance in learning to speak respectfully and lovingly to my husband. I learned to trust that in spite of a husband’s imperfections and that God has chosen to place the wife under the authority of her husband. There are two passages in the N.T. that clearly state this: 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.”
The Christians for Sexual Integrity (CSI) Wives group helps wives whose husbands are dealing with sexual sin to talk to twice a month. As I attended these meetings, I knew that I was not alone. These women helped me to remember that God would protect me if I was obedient to the Bible, no matter what my husband did.
No husband has absolute authority over his wife because God is the absolute authority. Therefore, I realized that when I placed myself under my husband’s (limited by God) authority, I was really putting myself in the safest possible place - in God’s will. God loved me and He was good so I did not need to be afraid of what would happen to myself or my children if my husband did not repent of his sin. God would take care of us somehow.
Of course, even though God’s authority is protective, this did not guarantee that my husband would always do the wisest or most godly thing; however, it did mean that regardless of what he did, God was working in my life to “conform (me) to the image of His Son” Romans 8:29 and God could be glorified.
The CSI wives group compliments the husbands group as the wives learn to speak truthfully about their feelings to their husbands, learn to be open about their own thoughts, feelings, temptations and join their husbands in the battle for purity of heart before God. It is about taking responsibility for our own issues and learning to deal spiritually with painful emotions. As a group we learn to share vulnerably about those things and give them to God. It is about learning to forgive and be gracious as God is and has been gracious to us and learning to love each day like Jesus loves.
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].”1Corinthians 13:4-8a Amplified Bible.
For more information about the CSI Wives group please contact Mona Schwarz at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 952-649-2797
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