March 5-7, 2010
First Church of the Nazarene
3700 E. Sierra Madre Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91107
Upcoming Events: San Diego (TBD) and Saint Louis, MO (TBD)
Joe Whitcomb, marriage and couple consultant and founder of the Imago Dei Relationship Institute has launched a new three-day intensive program designed to powerfully impact and fortify marriages. Entitled the“Marriage Rescue and Restoration Intensive,” this three-day, 18 hour marriage boot camp promises to radically improve marital dynamics by focusing on what Joe calls The E3 Training System (Empower, Educate and Entertain):
• Empower – Empowering married couples through God’s word means more than giving them knowledge. The key is to teach them how to take effective action upon what they have learned.
• Educate – The Marriage Rescue and Restoration (Marriage R&R) will educate couples based on the best practices and finest materials available in the marriage counseling field today-- but also on what has been proven to work. We base our marital training on results.
• Entertain – In today’s world, most people want to be entertained while being educ
ated. The Marriage R&R capitalizes on this fact, and engages them on an intellectual, spiritual and emotional level. Secondly, when couples are being entertained, they become more emotionally engaged in the dynamic process of change that energizes from within and between, and are more likely to retain and act on what they have learned . To carry out this part of the program, video clips, music and other experiential exercises will be employed.
Does it work? Let’s hear from people who ought to know:
“Joe Whitcomb has not only my respect as a marriage counselor, but my heart as well. His leadership in guiding couples through tough times displays good training and a great spiritual foundation,” said Jerrold Sugarman D.D.S., Elder in the Los Angeles Church of Christ. “His own marriage reflects love and godly principles that are consistent with his counseling. I highly recommend him for marriage and family counseling, as well as workshop presentations.”
“My husband and I were blessed to have Joe and Cindi Whitcomb as facilitators for an eight-week marriage class we took at the 20-year mark in our marriage. We learned so much!” says Tammy Fleming, Women’s Ministry Leader in Birmingham, UK. “Joe and Cindi were professional and yet modeled a great personal humility and intimacy that inspired us greatly to change. They gave 100% and clearly practice what they preach. We're still benefiting from the things we learned in their class several years down the road."
From Alienation to Connection and Forgiveness – Bridging the Gap:
According to Joe, "when couples disagree, most repeat the following disruptive pattern: blame, criticize, defend, express contempt, distance, and emotionally or physically withdraw. Distress is not about how many fights you have or even if you resolve the fights. Distress is about how you fight, and whether you can retain some sort of emotional connection after the fight. While traditional types of marital counseling tend to be open-ended and seek to solve immediate problems, such as continual arguing, by focusing primarily on behavior change and communication skills, the Marriage R&R approach hones in on increasing a couple's appreciation for how each partner feels in order to build trust and a secure base they can each rely on. In this approach, couples learn to recognize the negative cycle they are stuck in, where one person criticizes and the other responds defensively or withdraws. Couples learn to identify the needs and fears that keep them in that cycle. They learn to identify and express their 
underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other's needs."
underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other's needs."Joe concludes, "Until a couple is able to identify, acknowledge and ultimately forgive injuries, an emotional gulf persists between them. No matter how dissatisfying things have become and how unhappy or angry partners may be, they each need to feel safe in coming together to work out their problems. Each partner needs to understand the emotions dictating their actions. The emotions behind perceived problems are the key to understanding each other."
The Marriage Rescue and Restoration Intensive is a journey that can lead couples:
• From alienation to emotional connection.
• From vigilant defense and self-protection to openness and risk-taking.
• From a passive helplessness in the face of the old destructive “dance” of the relationship to a sense of being able to actively create a new and better dance.
• From desperate blaming of the other to a sense of how each partner makes it difficult for the other to be responsive and caring.
• From a focus on the other's flaws, to the discovery of one's own fears and longings.
• But most of all, from isolation to connectedness, reconciliation and forgiveness.
• From vigilant defense and self-protection to openness and risk-taking.
• From a passive helplessness in the face of the old destructive “dance” of the relationship to a sense of being able to actively create a new and better dance.
• From desperate blaming of the other to a sense of how each partner makes it difficult for the other to be responsive and caring.
• From a focus on the other's flaws, to the discovery of one's own fears and longings.
• But most of all, from isolation to connectedness, reconciliation and forgiveness.
What is the Marriage R&R like?
In today’s society it is difficult to commit an hour a week for several months to anything, let alone the health of your marriage. Typically, this is what you are asked to do when you seek marriage counseling. Often, you find yourself experiencing more stress in going to counseling because you have to take off work early, find a baby sitter, coordinate each other’s schedules, etc. In the end, counseling can become more of a hassle than an asset. Our Marriage R&R weekends are different in that they provide immediate, focused, and less drawn-out solutions for your marriage.
Proven Success
The Marriage Rescue and Restoration Intensive is based on the amazingly successful Couples Intensive program developed by The Smalley Relationship Center and Joe Whitcomb, M.A., Marriage Consultant/Relationship Coach and Executive Director of Imago Dei Relationship Institute. The program is over 87% successful in keeping couples together and satisfied in their marriages!
Why save your marriage?
• Research shows that nearly every possible negative behavior for children increases after a divorce.
• Because the average divorce costs – literally! For example, in Los Angeles, CA a divorce costs nearly $70,000!
• Because your marriage can be saved! By combining the power of God’s word with the brilliant work of some of the most respected marriage and family researchers today, we know more than ever before what it takes for a marriage to prevail over most any conflict it will face.
• Because the average divorce costs – literally! For example, in Los Angeles, CA a divorce costs nearly $70,000!
• Because your marriage can be saved! By combining the power of God’s word with the brilliant work of some of the most respected marriage and family researchers today, we know more than ever before what it takes for a marriage to prevail over most any conflict it will face.
For this reason, the Imago Dei Relationship Institute believes you can survive and overcome whatever suffering, conflict or hurt your marriage has experienced. Our Marriage Rescue and Restoration Intensive is proven to turn even the most hurting or devastated marriages into thriving and committed ones!
Is Marriage R& R for us?
Take a look at these signs of a couple in crisis:
• Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree
• Avoidance/Withdrawal Pattern - One or both partners choose to avoid or withdraw from conversations as a result of negative discussion
• Invalidation - When one partner talks negatively about the beliefs, feelings, thoughts, looks, etc. of the other
• Negative Interpretations - When one partner believes that the other partner is constantly behaving/speaking in a more negative way than is actually the case
• Escalation - When in a discussion, one or both partners begin to escalate the conversation to hostile levels
• Not handling disagreements as a team
• Unrealistic beliefs about marriage
• Difference in beliefs about important issues
• A low level of commitment to one another (infidelity, no long-term goals, etc.)
• Not practicing faith/spirituality together
• Avoidance/Withdrawal Pattern - One or both partners choose to avoid or withdraw from conversations as a result of negative discussion
• Invalidation - When one partner talks negatively about the beliefs, feelings, thoughts, looks, etc. of the other
• Negative Interpretations - When one partner believes that the other partner is constantly behaving/speaking in a more negative way than is actually the case
• Escalation - When in a discussion, one or both partners begin to escalate the conversation to hostile levels
• Not handling disagreements as a team
• Unrealistic beliefs about marriage
• Difference in beliefs about important issues
• A low level of commitment to one another (infidelity, no long-term goals, etc.)
• Not practicing faith/spirituality together
A Snapshot of Our Content
• Why Do Couples Get Into Trouble?
• The Greatest Act of Love No One Wants To Try
• Creating A Marriage Worth Being In
• LUV Talk: The Key To Resolving Conflict
• The Most Important Thing To Do Every Week For Your Marriage
• Building A Community Of Support For Your Marriage
• The Greatest Act of Love No One Wants To Try
• Creating A Marriage Worth Being In
• LUV Talk: The Key To Resolving Conflict
• The Most Important Thing To Do Every Week For Your Marriage
• Building A Community Of Support For Your Marriage
To Book a Marriage R & R Intensive Event at your local church or for more information and to register for the class, please contact
Joe and Cindi Whitcomb at 310-560-0726 or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.">This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. www.joewhitcombtherapy.com
Or Todd and Tanya Spath at 760-717-8706 or email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.">This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Imago Dei Relationship Institute
Joe Whitcomb, M.A.
Executive Director
Imago Dei Relationship Institute
2730 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 650
Santa Monica, CA 90403
posted by Jerry Maday, Worcester, MA